“I was amazed with him. Every opinion that he held was a new and interesting perspective for me. I felt like I (and everyone else I knew) saw things in black and white, and he had ideas and ways of thinking that were neon. He challenged every thought and belief that I had. Yet, this is somebody I could talk to about anything. I’ve felt like I’ve known him forever. With him, I want to break my own walls, push my own boundaries, and become better each day… (adapted from Brittney Morgan)
Sounds familiar?
If we’ve been fortunate, we’ve experienced this and known such people. There is a natural affinity, ease and sense of security when we are around them. Even when we’ve barely known them, we seem to effortlessly “get” each other. Shared values & life experiences suddenly begin to make sense. Finding them seems like home coming. Many different terms are used to describe these connections — soulmate, partner, co-creator, kindred spirit, tribe. Paulo Coelho calls them Gardeners. Whether or not we use these terms, believe in one or the other, the one thing that is certain — we never just stumble upon such connections. They happen for a reason. They are part of a larger “conspiracy” of the universe. Since there’s a design and perhaps a shared purpose, that’s why these people “recognize each other”. The signs, synchronicities manifesting every now and then, prodding us in that direction.
But are these really our ‘missing halves’. Do they complete us? Perhaps not! No one does…
The reason for the deep resonance really lies with us. They connect us with our core. They are intrinsically connected with our own search for meaning and purpose of life. And hence looking back, these encounters often seem very well timed. We may not be seeking them at that specific point in time; they typically happen when we are busy getting on with business as usual. But the universe has decided — it’s time for change!
And so these people or encounters become catalysts, and trigger an “awakening”. A cycle of inner transformation gets initiated. Over time, they help us discover and unleash our own potential. They help us become the best version of our self. However, this is no easy journey. The transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It requires us to meander through many dark, unfamiliar bylanes and alleys that we often dread to tread. It requires us to deal with our pain, fear, ego, frailties and insecurities. Only after confronting and crossing these dark alleys, we heal from within and find our own freedom. Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) puts it very rightly, “their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life”
The interesting aspect of this transformation is that it isn’t a one way process. The transformation happens on both sides. How much and what you make of it will depend on your own readiness. “If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comfort and set out on a truth-seeking journey, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared — most of all — to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself… then truth will not be withheld from you.”
